The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
