If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
NoShamevember. You game?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
