I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My balls are so social today.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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