You made me cry and you don't even care
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
