I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
