Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
