OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
