I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
my poor anus
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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