I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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