Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
where are my pants?
in the oven.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
