Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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