Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
