Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
