Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
