very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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