Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
