don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
