I think im going to throw up on grandma
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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