How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
