She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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