At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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