About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
