Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
