I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
