I want to have your abortion
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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