Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
