About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Holy sore nipples Batman
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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