laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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