I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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