I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'd cum for enchiladas.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
