I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
