Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
