I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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