Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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