So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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