I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
