take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
