More tranny stories later!
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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