I am puke
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
