im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
