I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
