Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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