As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have feelings that need drinking.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
