ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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