I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
