You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
