You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
