i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
