Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
