we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
