OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You ate ashes out of my bong
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
